Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I want to have your abortion
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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