I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
