Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize