But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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