I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just want nice things and good sex
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
