Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
