And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
