I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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