btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
