My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
