awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
