I faked an abortion last night.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My life is pants optional.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
