That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
