Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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