He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
