apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
