My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Randomize
