i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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