then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
