margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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