Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
