guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This baby is an asshole
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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