The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
