best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
