We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
