Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
