But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
