YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
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I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
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I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize