dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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