wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
