i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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