Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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