real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
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