Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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