nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
