when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
