this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
