you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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