I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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