Say something about gay babies.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
