I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
