whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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