Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
