We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
