Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize