what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
