I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
