I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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