I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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