drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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