Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
