Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
