Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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