We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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