Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
