Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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