She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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