Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
