I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
