Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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